Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Beautiful Days, Challenging Moments

If you had asked me two weeks ago how I felt about having two boys in the "terrible two's", I would have told you that I actually really like the age of 2. In fact the last 7 months have been some of my best times with the kids as far as "having it together". I don't know what occurred on that plane ride up to CO but both of my children have become extremely difficult to manage and I've been on my knees praying for guidance and feeling at a complete loss.

I know the pictures show joyous and beautiful moments, and there have been many wonderful moment up here. What they don't show is a mother who is feeling completely overwhelmed at the moment by her kids behavior "behind the scenes" of these photos. I'm used to manging the boys all by myself during long days of navigating our busy and complicated schedule but suddenly, even with the help of my family, I feel completely outnumbered. I wish Kenny were here and I miss him a lot, walking this new phase without him has been especially challenging. In fact, I'm not sure my family is going to invite us back anytime soon. Anyone have any advice on dealing with whining? I'm talking about extreme fall out on the floor, repeat the same request 500 times, nails on chalk board whining at the top of your lungs in Walmart, yes I was THAT Mom today.

To end on a positive note, when the boys and I were saying our bedtime prayers (in which I prayed in front of my kids for patience, consistency, and wisdom), Andrew started to spontaneously thank God for things. The boys like to pray and usually will repeat things they've heard me say before ("Thank you for Granny, Pa, Gammaw, Peepaw, etc"). But tonight Andrew starting thanking God for things totally on his own and it was precious. "Thank you Colorado, Thank you Ranch, Thank you Texas, Thank you Razor Rides, Thank you Gator Rides, Thank you Lunch, Thank you Eating, Thank you Tigers". Pretty sweet to see the things that Andrew recognizes as blessings at the precocious age of 2.5. Maybe, just Maybe, some things about God are beginning to stick in that wild head of his.

Every day begins with a walk. We've been doing about 3-5 miles throughout a day and it feels wonderful!

We try and encourage the boys to walk a little first before getting in the stroller

"Sticky Bear"

The public playgrounds up here are awesome!

Dinner during a downpour

Silly Monkey

On Sunday morning we attended church service at the beautiful and cozy Beaver Creek Chapel.

Adam snares me with those blue eyes

Inside the Chapel

Precious Ben in his Blue Jeans

Adam was ecstatic to try out the bungee trampoline. He kept telling them "Higher Higher" until he would suddenly get scared and they'd lower him back down but not for long before he was yelling "Higher Higher" again. Too funny.

My Baby was flying like an acrobat

Andrew of course, wanted nothing to do with this activity!

Grandparents and Grandbabies

Parenting Twins includes a lot of juggling!

I LOVE these photos of my mom, sister, me & all our baby boys

Playing in the Rain. It's been so long since it rained back home, I was surprised that the boys knew what it was!

Adam kept saying "I be careful"

And just like the rain,
I know that this Difficult Phase Too Shall Pass

"But you are a shield around me, O LORD;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
To the LORD I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah
I lie down and sleep; I wake again,
because the LORD sustains me."
Psalm 3:3-5


AKat said...

Lindsey, my prayers are with you for the duration of your trip. I have no words of advice, since I have never had a 2.5 year old; I can only offer lots of prayers and encouragement:
I think you are a wonderful mom.
Your boys are precious!
Look at all that hair they're both getting!
Ben looks like a stud in his jeans and rocker tee. (That one's for Dana.)
I struggle with just one, so you with two - you're super mom.
Just take one day at a time. The Lord is in control.
Y'all are just the sweetest family.

Emma, Georgia, Erica & Daniel said...

I am sorry it is so tough right now...we just got home from a 2 week vacation where Emma displayed some new and horrible behavior..the whole time..I don't know if it was she was out of her element and around her extended family so long or what? I also thought she may be overly tired because of all our activities that did differ from at home?? I am hoping for some improvement in the next few days, but I do think her terrible 2s is hitting hard now..Andrew looks SO grown up and big..Adam is brave!! Keep praying?!!

Aubrey Layne said...

We're praying for ya'll! It's so beautiful up thing to be thankful for...atleast this phase didn't begin here in the heat and maybe it's just b/c of the different atmosphere-something to hope for. Hope to see ya'll soon. The boys are precious!

poehl family said... your transparency during this difficult time and even more, that you know and believe that He is the Sustainer! saying a prayer for wisdom and hope!

Pemberton family said...

Hi Lindsey,
Well from the pictures you would not know that the boys are misbehaving. They are so cute and growing so big! My son just turned 2 in June and I have not experienced the terrible 2's (yet) but I will be praying for wisdom and guidance for you. This time will pass and before you know it you will be complaining about the girls that Adam and Andrew on bringing home:) Take care and enjoy your vacation!
PS Do youove your Bob? I got one recently when our 2nd son was born and I use it daily to take runs and walks. It is amazing!
PSS My son Colt has the same silly monkey sweatshirt that the boys were wearing to the park. So cute!

Valerie said...

Awww I'm in that stage as we speak! The thing that works for me is the "holding technique"(thank you Dr.Dan). It really does work:) If it something like sharing though I automatically send Logan to time out for 2 minutes. If he gets up I just put him right back without saying a word and start his time all over again(thank you Supper Nanny) And throwing a fit in Wal-Mart or any other store I absolutely do not put up with and I will stop everything and take him to the bathroom and spank him.. :( I know Iknow, but I just think there is no excuse for that. Other than that, thats all I've got for ya for now:)) I'm learning along as well... Macie, my first, never kicked and screamed and threw fits like Logan especially not in public:))
You are a wonderful mom and I'm sure this is something that you can definitely conquer:)
God Bless,

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain! Will is going through some kind of weird phase right now too. I'm praying he is over it by the time we make it to Virginia in a couple days. The past couple of weeks have been terrible. I pray a lot and press on with Shepherding his little heart. God will be faithful!

Rachel L

Jodi said...

What always worked for us was to get the kids to tell us what they DID want politely. So if they were throwing themselves on the floor or whining I would calmly get down to their level and ask them to ask for what they want. I would say something like, "You need to say 'Cookie please Mommy' or 'I want to go this way please'

I know they can't do it exactly right but we stressed EVERYTIME that they need to ask. And I would say it for them and then they had to say it. If they are whining I simply say, "I can't hear you when you talk like that."

Most of all, this too shall pass. Trust me. :D

Allison said...

Andrews prayer is adorable! I am so glad that someone else is now in the difficult phase too!!!! Welcome to the fun! I feel constantly overwhelmed and outnumbered :) See you next week.

Lynn said...

I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom but sometimes the best you can do is hang on for the ride. My first thought when I read this was what a blessing that they're here to be going through the terrible twos! You do realize that if there's a whole category for this, that pretty much every parent has gone through this. Whatever you do, they ARE going to grow out of this.
Stopping by to let you know I'm here praying.
Psalms 57:1-2 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast. I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Kari said...

Lindsey, My kiddos are 5 and 8. When each of them were approaching the age three, their behavior became horrific. Hang in there. I found that COMPLETELY ignoring them sometimes helped.
It really is a stage. Embrace it. It'll be gone before you know it.

skinny minny said...

If they aren't a danger to themselves or someone else ignore it. Sometimes the thought process is ( or seems to be) "it is better to be wanted for murder than not wanted at all" if it is a matter of whining because they want something and your answer is no...IGNORE IT! DO NOT GIVE IN! If they just went straight to whining show them the proper way to ask.I also find that singing soothes the savage beast and bubbles are miracle workers. Distraction is the name of the public trantrum game.

Brenda said...

Hi Lindsey, I've been reading your blog since the boys were born but kind of lurk:) I just appreciate you taking the time to mention your struggles with parenting and the boys. I just have ONE 2 1/2 year old daughter and I feel so isolated and alone sometimes when our day has been more "NO's" than "Yes's", more discipline than praise. I feel like it's a fault with me, that I'm not doing a good job or maybe I shouldn't have had kids. It's such a confidence booster (sadly:) when I realize I'm not the only one who's child can be sooooo demanding and like a little Dr. Jekyl! So many times, the blog world is filled with just the good, never the bad or the ugly! And you begin to think everyone has it all figured out except you. But I will tell you what I have to tell myself on days like that: tomorrow is a new day, we will start over and try again. I also try to apologize to Maggie at the end of the day if I lost my temper or just had to distance myself from her for a while when she was acting that way and I coudln't take it. I don't know if she understands what I'm doing, but I feel better:) I try to tell myself "she is a 2 year old for Heaven's sake!" You are doing a great job. It's just that our kids are kind of like live wires:)

Anonymous said...

oh good luck with the tantrums - I can only imagine how difficult it is with two!!! It is OK to be that mom at WalMart...all the parents are sympathetic (I know I am now!) and the ones who are cranky about it either don't have kids or forgot what tantrums were like. Try your best to ignore the behavior so long as they are not a danger to themselves. Just remember how hard it must be for them not to have the right words to express themselves and try to give them those words ("I know you are upset because...but you can't have that because...") mentioning consequences is useful.

And I know it is a personal parental decision, but I hope you don't have to resort to spanking. They are acting out because their bodies and minds are changing rapidly and to have someone they love and trust most respond with physical punishment is confusing.

My pede just said the terrible two's can last until age 4....BUT maybe they are just getting it out of their systems early! Or maybe the terrible 2's are God's natural birth control!!! hahaha. Keep us updated!

Anonymous said...

I am just catching up on your blog...I completely know where you are coming from; Lauren will be 3 in September (where did the time go?) and the tantrums began when Caleb arrived (8 weeks ago). I find that different disciplines work on different days. Whispering in her ear one day, time out another, etc. etc. It just depends, but oh have we had our Wal-mart days too! I have also noticed that when Caleb cries, Lauren cries, or vice versa so you are truly a trooper to have two go through it at once. It truly is just that they are frustrated to the point they can't communicate so I usually tell her, "it's okay to feel ________" and just rub her back. I am loving keeping up with your boys on the blog and miss everyone chatting it up on babycenter, but we are just all so busy with these kiddos now, aren't we? :-)


Anonymous said...

We've never met, but I found your blog through Andrew and Jamison Brunone, who I knew separately for several years, and now together as a sweet family.
I have 3 children, a 4 year old, 2 year old, and 10 month old. Everyone has a different theory on discipline tactics, but one thing that has helped me was the language I used when discussing the behavior. I found it helpful to use the word "complaining" rather than "whining" both in conversations with my husband and when correcting my children's behavior. "Whining" always felt vague and subjective to me - like it was just a nuisance and nothing else. But somehow naming the sin for what it was helped me tie it to the Bible and provided clarity. For my own kids, I will either send them to their room or spank - depending on the severity of the tantrum. And take heart, we've all been "that mom" in Wal-mart. :)
Your children are beautiful, and I wish you well!
Teresa McCord