I'm so in love with this baby girl and I'm cherishing every moment of this special time with her, remembering how precious it is and how quickly things can change. Knowing its my last pregnancy and marveling at every feeling, every movement. I'm holding on tight to these moments, while recalling the sadness of how much of this intimacy I lost with the boys when I went from carrying them with me 24/7 to such limited access to them after they were born, so heart wrenching and unnatural. I'll do anything to keep that from happening again but I know it's really beyond my control. Every day with Ally is a gift I don't want to give up but I know she belongs to God and is in His loving hands.
She's so active in the evenings and I'm fascinated with watching her from the outside and seeing my body react to her movements. So cool. I think I've worn Kenny and the boys out ;-). Every time she does something I'm like "Look!" but she always stops as soon as the words leave my mouth, haha.
My body is wearing down some lately and it's frustrating and disappointing. Believe me, I'll put up with any pain or discomfort and I definitely don't want this to be over anytime soon but I'm worried that my body may give out at some point but I'm hoping and praying that it won't.
A few days earlier this week my feet and legs swelled up and it was hard to bend my ankles. It didn't hurt but it made me nervous since I've got a long way to go yet. My blood pressure is fine and there are no signs of preeclampsia, thank goodness, so they think it's just a side effect of some of my medications. I focused several days on staying off my feet and keeping them elevated and it seems I've gotten the swelling under control. Only now to end up with back spasms the last two days. I'm not complaining about the pain so much as that this is reminiscent of the back issues I had prior to going into labor with the boys and it scares me. Plus it leaves me unable to function like I want to.
BUT Praise God, none of these things are currently effecting my ability to keep carrying Ally. My cervix is in good shape, which is THE biggest factor. And unless that changes we should be ok. I'm praying my body will adjust better to this stage of pregnancy and that my back will support her without giving out and that the contractions will not be productive (and go away entirely!).
Your prayers are so appreciated. I want to give Ally the healthiest start possible. I want to enjoy every moment together and not be visiting her in a hospital at some point. I want to take her home with me and not be apart. I'm trying to take it day by day but it's almost like hour by hour. I have great hours of the day when I feel good and then harder hours. It's like my body maxes out at some point each day and I have such a long way to go still. But I really REALLY do love being pregnant, its such a miracle and I won't trade any of it.
I love Ally so much and I love this opportunity to carry her, I just wish my body was better at it!
I'm SO blessed, not only am I carrying this precious gift but I have people sacrificing themselves to help me along in this journey. Kenny has been so awesome and is such a big help with the boys, fixing breakfast, getting them dressed, taking them to school, fixing dinner etc. And I'm so fortunate to have my Mama who will pick the boys up from school if I need to lay down and who's driven Andrew all the way to Houston for therapy when I've needed and helped me get my house back in order since I'm unable. Without their help, I'd really be a mess!
It's been so amazing to watch her grow!
A lady that Kenny worked with when he was building houses is adding some fun artistic touches to Ally's room.
By the end of this week I will be in the 3rd Trimester for the first time ever. SO exciting, God is good!!